"How to Re-connect on Valentine's Day or Any Day"

Most of us can easily recall the early days of our relationship.  Whether you have been together for 5 months or 50 years, being a couple is always exciting in the beginning.  Unfortunately as day to day life takes over we forget to take care of our relationship and even start focusing on the negative things rather than what brought us together in the first place.  


After kids, jobs, a house to take care of, and tons of daily responsibilities on your ”to do” list, a lot of us lose the motivation to even plan a date night.  Even if we do plan something, conversations tend to steer towards kids, money, things that need to be done around the house etc.  Date night is something my husband and I have always done.  We do it at least once a week.  What’s important is that you do it on a regular basis.  It’s so important to have a time just for you as a couple.  Valentines day is right around the corner so what better time to make reconnecting a priority.


There are tons of ideas out there on what to do for a date night.  Stay in, go out, get away for a few days...but one easy way to re-connect is by taking time to focus on the past, present and the future of your relationship.  Remember it doesn’t matter what you do or how big/expensive it is. What’s truly important is feeling connected.  So get a sitter and put away the electronics.  Here are a few ideas to make date nights a time to renew that new relationship excitement.


Date night blast from the past.  Do something that allows you to reminisce about the past.  Get out old photos and re-live funny stories or favorite moments.   Listen to the songs you loved when you first met or your wedding songs and remember the good ol’ days.  Watch the first movie you saw together or go to the same restaurant you went to on your first date.  My husband and I love to listen to music because music has been such a big part of our past.  We love to light some candles, pour a glass of wine and the music brings the memories for us.  Remember the things that brought you together and the feelings that led to you to one another in the beginning.


No better time than the present date.  This one is to help you remember to feel thankful for the things you have.  Tell each other about things they do now that you appreciate.  Revive a hobby or activity that you both love. Do something you both enjoy but maybe never get a chance to do.  My husband and I love to try new restaurants.  We love to enjoy a new atmosphere and try new food.   Ask each other thought provoking questions.  Not just about your day but open ended questions that show you are interested in each other’s lives. Whatever it is, make sure you talk about what you are happy with now and save any negativity for another time (or try to nix it altogether). Remember this is a chance to create some new memories!


The best is yet to come date:  Do something new!  Talk about your bucket lists and future goals.  Plan a trip!  Talk about how you can consistently make time for one another from here on.  Schedule your times together as a couple first on the calendar.  Marriage experts recommend couples hold regular meetings to check-in with one another to keep communication flowing freely and to check in on family goals.  If you keep your relationship a high priority your marriage will grow and you and your partner will each discover your best relationship yet!