The Number 1 Way to Feel More Connected to Our Kids

All parents know one of the biggest problems with kids is that they don’t come with an instruction book. No one tells us what to do when our kids have their first tantrum, or when they yell at us for no apparent reason.

How should we handle all of the situations that come up on a daily basis?  Why can’t kids just listen to us and do all the things we tell them to do?  Why must they talk back and ignore our requests?

As a life coach, as well as the mother of three girls, I have learned one key lesson over the years:  your relationship with your children is the most important thing.  When kids feel connected to you, they will listen more and talk more calmly when they have big emotions.  

You might be wondering what this magic connection tool is.  Well, in my family we call it “special time.”  That may sound a little cheesy, so call yours whatever you like. The name doesn’t matter so much as what it actually is.  Special time is, very simply, one on one focused time with your child, completely uninterrupted.  

Some experts recommend a daily 10 minutes per child.  My recommendation is to determine what feels doable for you and your child.  For us, it works to get together weekly for more than 10 minutes.  For example, I take my daughter out for frozen yogurt once during the week, and we sit and chat while we enjoy our treat.  Our time together lasts more than ten minutes, and I may add a shorter period of time again during the week.  

What’s important is to do it regularly and label it as time just for your child.  Let them decide what they want to do and focus completely on them during your time together.  Yes, that means you absolutely have to put your cell phone away, and they do too!  

You will be amazed by how much closer you feel after your one on one time. I encourage you to try it for a week and see if those tantrums decrease.  Special time together may just make all the difference.